Day 25 - Here we go again.

Normally two days has been long enough for my radiation burns to recover ready for the following week's treatment. Now, going into my fifth week, it was no longer long enough.

I was in an incredible amount of pain. My tongue was stinging constantly, my mouth, lips, gums were covered in sores, my neck, both left and right side were horribly burnt with accompanying pain.

I also have reflux, which causes more pain in my throat and chest.

Add to this my incredibly dry mouth, filled with dried blood and mucus means my entire life is pretty bloody horrible right now. I certainly don't feel much like exercising.

LIke the last few days, my mouth is slightly ajar, and stiff as a board with dried blood and mucus, when I wake up on Monday morning. It hurts like hell, but there is very little I can do other than commence my cleansing routine to free up the muck in my mouth.

First step is to wet a face towel and suck on it gently. This puts a little water into my mouth and helps get some moisture onto my lips. It's not a lot, but it helps to get things moving. After doing this a few times, and spitting out the muck that drops out of my mouth when I spit the water out, I drink a glass of Panadol soluable. I stopped using Panadein because it causes constipation. I haven't eaten in four days so going to the toilet is going to be difficult enough without adding to the difficulty. Instead, I'm now using only Panadol soluable. Using this as a mouth wash and then swallowing helps with moderating the pain and clearning my mouth. This normally cleans up the residual muck from my mouth pretty good and offers something to moderate the pain in my throat. As an added bonus, Panadol Soluable has a slight lemony taste so it is an easy way to drink water. Right now, I crave normal icy cold water. Whenever I drink water, it tastes like lead, not that I've eaten lead, but the taste is what I imagine from the metals I taste. As a result, I am thoroughly over flavoured water because it is the only liquid I can drink

The amount of caked on muck expelled from my mouth is incredible. But by this stage, my mouth is starting to free up. There is a little relief from the pain, but the next step is Lignaocaine. By now,I'd realised that it tastes better and works easier if it is not kept in the fridge, so now I keep it on my ensuite bench. Lignocaine is a viscous mouth wash, that provides a longer lasting anaesthetic effect to anything it touches, so after taking it, my mouth and throat are numb. This should make eating easier, but in my case, I had run out and my next appointment with the Doctor to get a prescription was on Tuesday. I still had no desire to eat.

While doing what I could to make my mouth and lips marginally more comfortable, It didn't stop the rivers of mucus eminating from my throat (which I have been coughing up and spitting out, again making sure I don't escape the pain).

By this stage, Vic was beside herself. She knew that the organs in my body would start to shut down if I didn't drink and eat, and I'd taken very little in, in the last 4 days. She knew I was dehydrated and my dramatic weight loss compounded her concern.

Consequently, there are no meals to advise, I didn't eat or drink anything so I was constantly tired. I did a bit of work, but mostly I laid down and drifted in and out of sleep until my radiotherapy appointment at 3.20pm in the afternooon.

I didn't know at the time, but today would be the last time I would be able to drive a car for a few weeks.

At least in sleep, the pain stops.