Not just another weekend

Knowing I didn't have any Lignocaine, I rang the hospital to see if the outpatient Pharmacy was open (it was Saturday) - it wasn't. I still had my Morphine elixir, Panadol / Panadein mix, and Cocaine mouthwash. I figured I'd be using these a lot more frequently than usual because I didn't have any Lignocaine, which so far had proven to be the best at relieving the pain in my mouth and throat, if only for a short time.

So when I woke up, I rinsed my mouth with my Panadol / Panadein mix and followed this up with Difflam mouthwash. I didn't eat any breakfast, I still wasn't hungry. I was also having to put up with rivers of mucus being secreted from my throat, which was spat out. My tongue was covered in sores, so even spitting out the mucus was painful.

I kept having the medicine, and for a short while, these medications worked, but there was nothing that was going to get rid of the pain for good, so I could feel normal again.

I was in a lot of pain and extremely tired. Vic started getting worried because I wasn't eating and wasn't comforted by my argument that I'd be right to wait to see the Doctor on Tuesday. I didn't think I was too bad, but in her Nurse's eye, I think she knew it wasn't right. I was in too much pain and started stooping due to lethargy. I didn't want to walk anywhere because I had developed fissures on my feat, right on the heal. I was beginning to think my goal to keep exercising throughout was not going to be achieved. I wasn't going to the toilet and my rash had gradually gotten worse.

I managed to shower, and went directly into the lounge. My son's basketball game was at 11.30am, and I decided not to go. I just didn't want to move. My daughter had slept over a girlfriend's house, so nobody was home. I laid down on the lounge, and basically stayed there for the whole weekend. I drank a little flavoured mineral water, but that was about all I dared put down my throat.

Sunday was much the same, except that there was a bit of American football on the tele. I quite like the game so I had plenty to watch.

I promised my mum that we'd all head over to my grandma's home in North Beach for her 103rd birthday later that afternoon. We are members of a large family on my mum's side, and I really like catching up with my cousins and their families. We shared a lot for many years as children and it's always good to sit down with them, have a laugh and see how they are getting along. My grandma still lives independently, although one of her daughters lives with her all the time and a Silver Chain nurse comes around weekly to check up on her. She has restricted hearing and eye sight, but her mind is still as sharp as it always was. Most of us will only dream of seeing past a century, but we reckon we're coming from pretty good bloodstock.

So with this heritage, I was very worried when Cancer struck. I was thinking "how could this be", I'm supposed to live until 100 years of age (or more).

Anyway, we didn't stay long. We had dinner and some desert, took some photos and had a bit of light conversation until grandma blew out her 103 candles (not really, the cake wasn't big enough so we settled for 8). Our kids had some cake, and then it was time to say our goodbyes because I was rapidly getting tired and succumbing to more and more pain.

While there was plenty of food, served, there was nothing there that I thought I would actually eat. I tried a couple of things, but eating is simply too painful. When we got home, I wrote some more blog and went to bed around 11.30 after doing my M&T Routine, neck and lips hygiene routine. I hadn't eaten anything for two days and the only time I wasn't in pain was when I was asleep.